My Secret Life 13

It was 1976 I was 16 and Lux asked me out. I told him he had to meet my father first and he said ok.

He didn’t really have to but I thought it would be funny. He lived near me on the Upper East Side and worked at a local record store with another musician named Bryan. Their band was called The Cramps they were weird and I liked them. Bryan and the drummer Nick autographed their first 45 for me.

I got along well with Bryan. Sometimes I came home from school and he would be drinking with my mother. He would draw and leave them around the apartment.

I made velvet leopard collars for his shirts and dyed his jeans with black ink because black denim jeans weren’t black enough. One halloween he asked me to come over and wrap him in bandages so he could be a mummy.

My date with Lux was in the afternoon after school so I was still in my catholic schoolgirl uniform. He showed up at my parents apartment wearing tight black jeans, old black nun shoes with a heel and rainbow striped socks. I can’t believe my father let me leave the house with him.

We stopped at a bar and he invited me over. He lived with Ivy another musician in his band. He said she was at work. I thought they were roommates because someone told me he was having sex with a girl named Lydia. I was so naive.

The apartment was small. The living room was floor to ceiling LP’s and 45’s magazines comics fanzines all kinds of amazing stuff.

He wanted to have sex with me but I was a virgin and said no. Then he asked if he could eat my pussy. I didn’t know what that meant so I said no, okay.

I was sitting on the sofa he was already kneeling at my feet. Quickly he removed my underwear and spread my legs. I picked up a magazine. It didn’t feel good I didn’t like it. Ivy came home early from work lots of screaming and I ran home.

I am so sorry Ivy.

[This is an ongoing project]

All photographs ©️Marina Lutz